Why You Should Avoid Final Fantasy 7 on Steam


ff7steam

Remember, this is a review of the Final Fantasy VII steam port. This isn’t a review of FFVII. I love this game.

After two years of rumors, Steam finally released Final Fantasy 7 last week on July 4 for $11.99. The game is a copy paste replica to the 1998 PC release, complete with a MIDI soundtrack and the creepy glitch where all of the NPCs have their mouths open like adult blow up dolls.

mouths

This scene really aids my blow up doll hyperbole.

You may be sitting here saying, “$11.99 is too much for a 15-year-old game” like many angry users posting on the Steam discussion forums or “It’s just enough to live out my nostalgia and get some cool Steam achievements.” I thought the latter, and well, it would have been cool to actually have had the ability to get past the first disc. Of course, multiple discs are now a…figure of speech (sniff).

Between Cloud Saving not working 90% of the time or the game randomly deleting my saves because of server issues, I’ve just about had enough with trying to play it. It’s near impossible.

But, let’s rewind.

In order to play this game, you need to have both a Square Enix account and a Steam account. Once you purchase this game, it’s mandatory to log on to both accounts. In order to play on multiple computers, you need to enable Cloud Saving (I swear, this isn’t a pun). Unfortunately, it’s extremely buggy. Local saving is the only option at this point. Cloud Saving worked twice for me and this was all before the first boss fight, so less than an hour of play time.

One of the features I haven’t figured out nor have the desire to test is the Character Booster mode. Triggering this will allow you to increase your character’s stats and Gil. I’m not sure how this is an incentive for an already easy game to begin with but it’s beyond me. Oh, and this only works if Cloud Saving works. But, it doesn’t so don’t even bother trying it.

Another con is that there is no personality in the achievement section. There are 36 badges for things like getting to level 99 or obtaining the Knights of the Round summon materia…but what about Cloud getting picked by with Don Corneo instead of Tifa and Aeris? Or a high score on those horrific Gold Saucer games?

In closing, don’t waste your money hoping for a nostalgia trip when the game doesn’t even work. Wait until they sort out the bugs or play your old Playstation copy. Or, if you’re really bored, add me as a friend on Steam and see how far I can get with achievements before my computer dies and ruins my save file again.

Svenna is a writer and the Public Relations Director for Girl Gamer Vogue. For more from Svenna, check out her TwitterTwitch and YouTube Channel.

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